The Total Life Experience
Success, as I have found it, is the way we feel. When we feel positive, abundant, happy, satisfied and joyful, we feel successful. When we feel negative, scarcity, unhappy, dissatisfied, and hopeless, we feel unsuccessful.
Sure, we call it different things, but I believe that this is what is really going on. I talk more about the difference between Success as Attainment vs. Success as a Feeling here. For now, I want to talk about being “in the mood” to feel successful.
The bad news is that success is how we feel. This is bad news because for the most part we know that we are responsible for our feelings. This means that if we feel unsuccessful, we need to own up to the fact that we are responsible for it and no one else is. That’s the bad news; its our responsibility to change it.
But, that’s also the good news. Because, if we are responsible, that means we are in the position of power to improve the way we feel. That means that we can do something about whether or not we are successful (whether or not we FEEL successful) right here, right now.
Clarity
Now, Success as a feeling may sound oversimplified, but when I show you what feelings success is made of, you may see what I mean. The goal would be that you begin to focus on what you can influence and burn the rest.
In a study in March 2009, The Legatum Institute found no correlation between wealth and happiness. No surprise there. We have heard this concept for some time, that success is not attainment. What few people tell us is what success actuall is.
In a brief review in an Indiana news article, Mirko Bagaric (lawyer and author) said that:
“The things that are conducive to happiness are fit and healthy bodies, realistic goals, self-esteem, optimism, an outgoing personality, a sense of control, close relationships, challenging work and active leisure punctuated by adequate rest and a faith that entails communal support, purpose and acceptance…”
Respected author Napoleon Hill (Think and Grow Rich) identified success as being ‘The 13 Riches’:
- Positive mental attitude
- Sound physical health
- Harmony in human relations
- Fredom from fear
- Hope of future achivement
- Capacity for applied Faith
- Willingness to share one’s blessing with others
- To be engaged in a labor of love
- An open mind on all subjects toward all people
- Complete self discipline
- Wisdom with which to understand people
- Financial security
Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, has identified success as exercising seven life-long habits that lead to a Positive Mental Attitude. (The old “PMA” was refined in the Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale.)
What readers have loved about these guys over the last century is that they began to bring clarity to the feeling we all had in our gut; that knowing what success is not is important but more important than that will be to know what successis.
People, including successful people, especially successful people, know that attainment of things does not create the perpetual feeling of success. Though my different mentors (the millionaire, the spiritual guru, and the decisive speaker) may have different language for what success is (access, divine relationship, and progress; respectively), they ALL agree that it is not attainment.
Success is found, instead, in being in a state of mind of successfulness.
So, what is successfulness? Which areas do we pay attention to? Is it Napoleon Hills 13 areas? Is it Bagaric’s 8 or 9 areas? Or Covey’s 7 Habits?
My personal answer is yes AND no. Yes, it includes all of those things. No, in that I need smaller bite-sized chunks to deal with.
I found that describing what success is not is far too abstract and Napoleon Hill’s 13 areas are too detailed. Sure, what success is not is a start and a good one at that. And yes, the 13 areas when handled strategically really made long-term, incremental improvements in my quality of life. (See our Principles in the Raw coming soon, written with my co-Agent of the Raw, Jason Northington.)
But, I needed something in-between to focus on daily. I needed to know even on those days when things were crunchy and vision was not clear that I could work on a few handful of areas and rest assured that my over-all success was attained.
So, I needed Clarity. And I found it. Looking over and over all the different guru’s material, I was able to summarize the areas I wanted to feel successful in to be: A) Relationships, B) Fitness and Health, C) Work that I enjoyed and was compensated well for, and D) Financial Interdependence, not worrying about money again.
When I came across these, I felt that they were just broad enough to include the different facets of each and just narrow enough to be worked in individually. Just thinking about life in this way gave me a sense of relief. It wasn’t too big nor too small. It was just right. (For our previous project, SuccessFit.net, we did something similar for all the members in the areas of Fitness, Studying, Planning, Action…which, incidentally, are the things we do to achieve successful feelings in the four main areas.)
I had the clarity I need to work effectively and successfully in each area. You will find that the areas I cover on this site are these main categories.
So, success as I define it is feeling successful in A) my Relationships, B) my Fitness and Health, C) in doing Work I Enjoyand am well-compensated for, and D) Financial Interdependence.
When you are finished reading this article, come back and click them to get further clarity on HOW to work on each category. (I am BIG on trying to help people with the “how” of success.)
I will say that, over time, I have found abstract ideas (like what success is not, for example) as well as more-detailed ones (my and Jason’s Principles in the Raw) to be very helpful. We need to zoom in on certain topics to refine ourselves. We need to zoom out to get perspective some times. This medium-ground, however, is a great starting place to work on our feelings of success.
From Clarity to Convergence
Working from these categories, I saw huge leaps in experiencing success. The more I worked on healthy, happy Relationships built on mutual respect and interdependence, the more I felt successful. It was the same in Fitness and Health; with every workout I gained confidence and self-respect. Work that I Enjoyed and Financial Interdependence came swiftly as I got my finances under control, found work that I enjoyed (both as a career and on the humanitarian field; especially in the humanitarian field).
What I also noticed was that as these areas began to feel more and more successful, I noticed how often they would cross paths. They would converge. Good Relationships led to Work I Enjoyed. Work I Enjoyed led to Financial Interdependence. Financial Interdependence led to spending more time with Fitness and Health, which led to enjoying my Relationships more.
It went from this,
to this,
over night.
(Or, as the millionaire mentor I had used to say, its a “twenty-year overnight success.”)
The “TLE”, if you have not read about it yet on this site, is your Total Life Experience. This is the point beyond simply experiencing a feeling of success in one or all of the major areas. It is when all the areas are firing and influencing all the other areas, creating an unstoppable cycle of Success. It is when all the areas have converged and are pushing each other forward.
The TLE is when a majority of your time is spent thoroughly enjoying most all aspects of your life, seeing the successes, feeling successful, all the time. The TLE is possible for everyone. It does not matter your race, gender, or chemical balance (or IMbalance!) It is accessible to everyone at any age.
And more than that, it is necessary, CRITICAL that we are all experiencing it.
Mission Critical
I would like to take a second here and communicate that it is of the utmost importance that we feel successful, and often!
It is important that we all get on track (or back on track) to experiencing a life of daily growth, daily renewal, daily successfulness. This, I am convinced, would eliminate most all negativity and hardships in our lives. I am not sure about fixing the world. Brokeness seems to come from every direction. I am sure that we need to work hard on ourworld.
The sooner we obtain a mentality of success, the sooner we acquire the tools to systematically create ongoing feelings of success, the sooner we can move on to serving one another in a genuine spirit of servanthood.
We are in a critical time. I do not want to pretend that we are in a time more or less critical than any other in history,..but it is OUR TIME. This “now” is our “now”. Time may or may not be growing short for mankind, but it IS growing short for you and I.
Time to Act
No excuses. Because of the importance of feeling successful in each of our lives, I cannot let you slide that easy. I hope you do not let ME slide, either.
This site is to serve you in that endeavor.
Get Sparked. Light your own TLE. Then Spark a friend.
Don’t waste another minute. Some actions you can take are:
- If you have not already, download the Top 100 document from our site on www.successfit.net and start working on it.
- Join my mailing list for tips on how and updates.
- Read up on Relationships, F&H, Work I Enjoy, or Financial Interdependence.
- Read up on the TLE.
- Follow me on Twitter.
- Post your Top Life Goal below, what you need to study, and what Major Action you are taking TODAY for its attainment.
- Read Think and Grow Rich again,..and follow the actions they give you.
- Tell a close friend of your intent to activate your life and invite them to join the mission with you.
Let me encourage you! Just by reading this you are stating your intent to Get Sparked. Keep pushing hard! Do whatever it takes to stay inspired and lit. I hope that this site does it for you. Even if not, seek out your own inspiration.
Remember, the world needs more Sparked, Ignited individuals. That’s You! Now GO, and light it up!
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